I realize that the title to this post makes for a strong statement but let me explain what I mean by that.
It has been just over two years since my family made the leap from city to country living. When we first moved every person we encountered asked us why we had moved to the island and our typical answer was "to get out of the rat race". That was true but we never really got into too many details as to why.
The real reason was for our son. Our middle child was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 7. Our life prior to moving was not an easy one. I was on a one year leave of absence at the time of our move so that I could focus on my son's needs. I used to get a call at least once a week from the school to let me know of little situations that had occurred. At the time I felt that we were in a downward spiral. Life was hectic and chaotic. I had a work schedule that did not mesh with my husband's schedule, and my son along with my other children were suffering. In general, life was just simply too busy and stressed. Whereas I could cope, my son could not.
When we told our friends and family that we were moving to the country they were shocked and most thought it was a mistake to take our son away from the services available to us for autism. It was a legitimate concern but we felt that life would actually be better for him.
Two years later the verdict is in. Life in the country for a growing autistic boy is better. My son is flourishing. Last week for example, he ran for student council and won. Sure it was by default because he was the only boy to run in grade 7. The point is that he got up willingly in front of his class and gave a speech. (His platform was to improve the toilet paper quality in the school and add cheese to the snack bin program). He became involved. I don't believe he would have ever done this in the past.
My son is beginning to feel accepted and that he belongs. A painful experience that I will share which occurred at my children's old school was hearing a parent call my son a freak within my earshot. My son heard it too, but luckily he didn't quite understand the comment was directed toward him. I am thankful for that. I however understood that father clearly. I will never forget that hurt.
Not everyone understands or even tries to tolerate people who are different. I feel living in a smaller community my son has been able to flourish in a way he never could in a large city. People know him here. It is not that people excuse his behavior but they are aware of his challenges and offer guidance and help to him when needed. The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is true. I feel support in my community that I never did before and my son feels that support too. It is somewhat of a relief to go shopping and not hear comments from rude people about my son's behavior. Instead people say hi and talk to him.
In the city we had to look for opportunities to practice social skills. Living where we do now, we just need to open the local paper to see what community event is taking place. Just going to the market provides a cornucopia of social skill opportunities. Country people actually stop to talk to each other. I find that rather refreshing.
We have also found a fantastic therapist who brings such a positive attitude that my son responds to her. We are also members of Autism Ontario www.autismontario.com. The local branch is in Sudbury. There are services available most places. It just took asking questions to find solutions.
It can not be argued that the pace of life is different too. That is not to say that we are not busy. I did somewhat think that my family would slow down with our move to the country. We are still very busy but it is just different. We spend more time with our kids than we ever did before. How can that not be a bonus for us all. As I sit writing this, the kids are outside with their dad playing basketball.
The problem with the city for one with ASD is the constant intake of stimulus. That constant "noise" is not found in the country. The excitement today was my husband calling to say there was a cow loose in town. People on the spectrum have trouble with too much stimulus so removing that from our sons life has helped him to focus on growing in other areas.
I know moving to the country is not an option for most ASD families, but I am thankful that it is something that we did for our son. So yes country air is good for autism. My son is my proof.
What a fabulous and well written description Staysh. So touching. You and your family are blessed. Proud of you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous and well written description Staysh. So touching. You and your family are blessed. Proud of you.
ReplyDelete